Thursday, April 21, 2011

S*** Happens

With the Easter weekend approaching quickly, the voices in my head are conflicted about what to write, though we've all agreed that it will be on religion (cue evil music). So, to keep you amused in the meantime, I'm posting a little item that I found entitled "S*** Happens In Various World Religions." Enjoy!

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S*** Happens - The Religious Viewpoints

Taoism
S*** happens, go with the flow.

Hare Krishna
S*** happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.

Hinduism
This s*** has happened before.

Islam
S*** happening is the will of Allah.

Zen
What is the sound of s*** happening?

Existentialism
S*** doesn't happen; s*** is.

Buddhism
When s*** happens, is it really s***?

Confucianism
Confucius says, "S*** happens".

7th Day Adventist
S*** happens on Saturdays.

Protestantism
S*** won't happen if you work harder.

Catholicism
If s*** happens, you deserved it.

Jehovah's Witnesses
No s*** happens until Armageddon, and it won't happen to us.

Unitarian
What is this s***?

Mormon
S*** happens again & again & again.

Judaism
Why does this s*** always happen to us?

Pentacostalism
Praise the s***!

Atheism
There is no s***!

New Age
S*** happens and it happens to smell good if you open your heart to it.

Rastafarianism
Let's smoke this s***.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Advice Worth Keeping (And Passing On)

ad•vice [ad-vahys] (noun) – 1. an opinion or recommendation offered as a guide to action, conduct, etc. 2. a communication, especially from a distance, containing information.

“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.” (Oscar Wilde)

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I received an email forwarded to me from a colleague who was a Vietnam veteran. The email was a message addressed to those who serve or have served in the military entitled “Brotherhood” and provided advice and inspiration that I felt should be shared. After all, how can one strive to improve themselves and not give others the same opportunity, right?

Naturally, I broke it down and put my little spin on it.

So, read it and apply as you see fit. Even if you don’t apply it, pass it on. You never know whose life you just might save by doing so.

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Be the kind of person that, when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says, “Oh, crap! [insert your name here]’s up!”

Life is too short to wake up with regrets, so love the people who treat you right and forgive the ones who don't, just because you can.

Whether you believe it or not, there are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason. When something bad happens to you, instead of whining “Why me?”, ask “What can I learn from this?”

If you get a second chance at something, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.

Take a few minutes to think before you act when you’re mad.

Forgive quickly and honestly.

Stand up to be seen, speak up to be heard, and shut up to be appreciated.

There’s a woman out there who, depending on who you are, can be the sweetest lady or the nastiest bitch you ever met, and she’s always watching you. You may have heard of her. Her name’s Karma.

Never envy what someone else has. You never know what price they paid to get it.

Money is like a gun. If you don’t know how to use it properly, it can backfire on you.

When done properly, silence makes more of a statement than the longest sentence you can speak.

Courage is not the absence of fear. It’s the ability to face it head-on. Anyone who says they have no fear is either a fool or insane and should be avoided at all costs.

And remember this: God never said that life would be easy. He just said that it would be worth it.