“That poem and story are fake,” Jay-Z, whose real name is Shawn Carter, revealed.Looks like he was right. He might have 99 problems, but “bitch” ain't one of them.
10 years ago, I was at work when I heard the news. At the time, we had a customer service area on our floor, so I walked over and looked at the television which was repeating over and over about a plane slamming into one of the towers of the World Trade Center. My first thought was: Is this a movie commercial? This can’t be real. Nobody’s crazy enough to do this.
I was waiting for something, anything that indicated that it wasn’t real. That this was a 2001 version of the War of the Worlds radio show that terrorized everyone into thinking that a real Martian invasion was happening, playing on our fears of the unknown. But it never came.
Then the second crash happened. Tears rolled down my eyes. New York was where I was born and raised and watching this happen was like watching a relative getting shot and killed.
I started calling all of the family I had there. My brother, aunt, and many cousins called New York home. And with each message from the automated message saying that all circuits were busy, I grew more and more worried. As I reached out to the other family members outside of New York, I realized I was not alone in thinking this.
I would be several hours before we heard from everyone in New York. I was glad to hear that they were okay. I was even gladder to hear that one of my cousins, who worked in Tower Two, survived because he was late for work that morning.
Of course, in that time, the towers had fallen like Icarus from New York's skyline, the Pentagon was similarly attacked, and a plane that was heading for the White House to do the same was diverted thanks to the passengers who decided that if they were going to die, it would be by their terms and not on the terms of terrorists.
I was saddened by the thought that I would never again see the towers greet me whenever I flew into New York. But that’s nothing compared to those who lost their lives because someone chose that day to inspire fear into our hearts. And that is nothing compared to those of us who chose to show that we would not allow fear to dominate our spirit.
Are we better for 9/11? The opinions will differ depending on who you ask. But one thing is for sure. We were changed by that day. Our country united like never before because we would not, could not let them win. At the same time, we hardened ourselves to the point where things like torture and detaining prisoners without trial became debated rather than remaining absolute lines that we would not cross because we were supposed to be better.
To those who lost someone that day, you have my love, sympathy and prayers. They will never be forgotten.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”She broke it down to me like this: “All of your experiences shaped you into the man you are today. Let’s say that things happened differently. Would you guarantee that you would still be the same person that you are right now?”
man·ners [man-ers] (plural noun) - 1. social conduct. 2. a socially acceptable way of behaving.
“It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.” (Author unknown)
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[A big thanks to my good friend, Cheryl, for this topic. --Ed]
Picture this. I’m at church, attending first service with my wife and children. We arrived about fifteen minutes before the service started so that we can get a good seat, since our church tends to get very crowded very quickly, and end up in the second row (first row is for the bishop and his family, his wife, children, pastors, and honored guests). So as we’re waiting for the service to start, one of the pastors walked up to us, smiling as she approached, and gave my wife a big hug while greeting her. And then she walked off (cue scratched record), ignoring me.
What the f***?
It wasn’t the first particular incident that something like this happened, but it was the most prominent for me because of how blatant it was. But I can speak of several instances where I was suddenly the Invisible Man and ignored. The youth at the church are real good at this. They can literally sit in the same room as you and not say one word to you while they are chatting with someone else.
Growing up in a Haitian culture (and I think that a majority of Caribbean cultures are like this), I was taught that elders were always to be respected and heeded. Boys were expected to greet all the female elders with a kiss on the cheek and all male elders with a handshake while girls were supposed to kiss any elder on the cheek regardless of gender. Then, unless they had questions for you, you were to go and join the other kids in whatever room they happened to be in. Under no circumstances were you to be in a room where adults were congregating and speaking unless called to that room by one of those adults. You were not allowed to give any adult an attitude, since that was seen as disrespect. Also, interrupting a conversation without starting with “excuse me” was a guarantee that you were going to get a whooping.
Now, don’t get me wrong. My culture has its issues (for example, in an argument between a child and an adult, the adult is automatically right, even if they are wrong) but I think it gave me a good foundation for dealing with the world in general. I was a good student because I respected my instructors, even when I was in college. Every adult I met took a liking to me, to the extent that I was easily welcomed into many of my friends’ homes like any of their children (I have a lot of “Moms” who adopted me). Even now, I’ve been told that if someone doesn’t like me, it must be because something is wrong with them, not me.
Yet, too often nowadays, I see children disrespecting adults as if they lack home training. My daughter is very strong-willed and opinionated (like her old man), which tends to get her in trouble with my wife because she still has that immature mindset that tells her that she knows everything. I am constantly reminding her that while she might have a point, saying it with an attitude will get her nowhere. She’s a good child overall, but like many of our youth, has a lot to learn.
And I can’t leave the adults out of this. Many of them could go a long way to make this world better is they knew how to treat other people with courtesy and respect. Some people think that having a title or some authority entitles them to treat everyone else like grade-A crap, but it doesn’t. A kind greeting goes a long way. A pat on the back, a reassuring word, a simple thank – these are things that can uplift someone who’s down. All of us are dealing with a tough economy, loss of income, lack of faith in our own government and life in general. For all you know, a hello and a smile might be all that stands between you and someone ready to climb up to the roof and take a dive. God made us all unique, but that does not give you the right to be an asshole, much less a unique one.
I have no easy solutions to this. Maybe we need to introduce an etiquette class in school so that kids know how they are supposed to act. Maybe parents need to get their act together and teach their kids that disrespect in any way, shape or form is not acceptable. Maybe every person should be required to do one year of military service (now that’s a place to learn discipline!). I know: we can add a Department of Etiquette and Manners to the government, with Miss Manners as the Secretary.
Once upon a time, I worked at BellSouth as a customer service rep. Of all the things that I learned from there (many of them bad & demoralizing, by the way), I did keep one thing that my trainer taught me, and that was this: “It’s never about how the conversation starts. It’s always about how that person feels by the time the conversation ends.”
