Friday, January 20, 2012

To B*tch or Not To B*tch [Updated]

Warning: This post is about to get very, VERY real. If you are sensitive, easily offended, or need your mother’s permission to read this, I would seriously suggest that you click here. You have been warned.

bitch [bich] (noun) – 1. A female dog. 2. Slang: (a) a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially a woman. (b) a lewd woman. (c) Disparaging and offensive: any woman. (verb) – 3. Slang: To complain, gripe.

“99 problems
But a bitch ain't one
If you're having girl problems
I feel bad for you, son
I've got got 99 problems
But a bitch ain't one” (Jay-Z, “99 Problems”)


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I have a problem and I’m going to bitch about it. I’m going to bitch about the word “bitch”.

Why, you ask, would I do such a thing? Is it that I like to use the word? Does it flow so eloquently from my tongue, rolling off of it like a well-versed sonnet? Is it a regular part of my vocabulary, which includes such awesome words as “awesomesauce”, “technicality”, and “yes, I can legally get away with this”?

Actually, yes and no.

I do not like to use the noun form, even when I am referring to a female dog. To me, a dog, whether it is male or female, is a dog. A cat, who could be a contender for the word due to its attitude, is simply a cat to me (and what is the name of a female cat anyway?).

The verb form and I, however, are longtime friends. Usually, it comes in one of several forms, including the following:
  • “What are you bitching about now?”
  • “Bitch, bitch, nag, nag!”
  • “Quit yer bitching!”
And for the record, no, it is never directed at my wife. I, for one, like sleeping on a bed without having to keep one eye open. It is usually directed at close friends and it is always in a playful manner.

“So,” you ask, “why are you bitching at the word bitch?”

Jay-Z, that’s why.

For those of you who lived under a rock for the last decade, Jay-Z is one of the most talented rappers in the entertainment industry. Not only that, but he is also a successful businessman who used the money he earned as a rapper to invest in businesses that will provide a legacy for him and his family for, say, forever and a day. He is part owner of the New Jersey Nets, created a clothing line called Rocawear, and is part-owner of a chain of sports bars called the 40/40 Club. He is also about to be celebrating his third year of marriage to his wife, Beyoncé Knowles, and just recently had the pleasure of becoming a father when they gave birth to their daughter, Blue Ivy Carter.

As you can tell, I am a fan. A huge one. My playlist proves this.

“So,” you ask, “what does Jay-Z have to do about you bitching at the word bitch?”

Simple, really. Recently, he declared that he would no longer use the word “bitch” in his music anymore now that he has a daughter. While it is commendable that he will no longer use a word that is degrading and insulting to women, I just feel that it’s a decision that is too little, too late.

Fact is, Jay-Z accumulated his wealth because of the prolific use of this word, as well as several others that many people find either obscene, misogynistic or both. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a firm believer in freedom of speech and, as a fan of his, I’m fully aware that many of the lyrics in his songs contain words that I won’t allow my children to listen to. But I also ascribe to the fact that I am an educated adult who can listed to the lyrics and not aspire to wake up the next morning and become a drug dealer or gangsta rapper who thinks that life is all about expensive cars, hanging in the club and “making it rain” in the strip club.

Many of his fans, who are younger than me, who lack the understanding that he is, first and foremost, a businessman whose business is selling records (in his case, millions). And the first rule of business is that if what your selling works, keep doing it. In the meantime, all of these fans see him as a role model and someone to aspire to be. Unfortunately, they don’t want to be businessmen and owners; instead, they aspire to be gangstas whose pants hang off their ass and call women bitches and hos. Why? ‘Cause Jay-Z does it. They want to hang out in the clubs and be in the VIP section. Why? ‘Cause Jay-Z likes to. They want to drink Cristal. Why? ‘Cause Jay-Z likes it.

So he made money hand-over-fist this way, but now that he has a daughter, it’s wrong. To me, it’s semi-hypocritical. And I say this because it’s not as if he is going to give an over-the-air apology for it or have a PSA that is played on urban radio explaining why it was wrong in the first place and to tell young men that it’s not okay to call women bitches and hos. And it’s not as if he was going to give back that money that he made on account of those lyrics.

To me, it’s the same as seeing a family whose fortune was made through slavery publicly decry that what they did was wrong in a press conference, yet offer no restitution for what they did.

“We became rich on slavery. But it was wrong. Our bad. Thank you.”

Unfortunately, I don’t see this changing anything among the young in our community. Jay-Z is not the only rapper they look up to. And as long as these rappers put their business interests ahead of the education of the community, it is simply going to be more of the same. As long as their music videos show women dancing in clothes that looks painted on, our young women will think of that as the personification of beauty. And as long as they continue to use the word bitch as a label for any woman, that will be the word that will fly out of the mouths of our youth.

Commendable? Yes. But does it suddenly make him a hero? No.

Sadly, it’s an awakening that is too little, too late.

Update: Uh-oh! Looks like even Blue Ivy isn't as safe as we thought anymore. In a New York Daily News article, when asked about his pledge in a poem to drop the word “bitch” from his vocabulary, he scoffed (their words, emphasis mine) and said:
“That poem and story are fake,” Jay-Z, whose real name is Shawn Carter, revealed.
Looks like he was right. He might have 99 problems, but “bitch” ain't one of them.

3 comments:

  1. I missed Jay-Z's announcement, but if I'd heard it, I'd probably have a similar reaction to you, with possibly even more of an eyeroll as I'm of the gender that ends up on the wrong side of "bitch" more often than not. Not only is it too little, too late, but it's an issue now because it could affect his own.

    Also, it's just one word. Yes, I'm a writer and I know the power of words, but is the content going to change? Will he just use some other term to signify a negative term for women? I can't say too much here because, though I listen to the pop station, I can't name a single current song by Jay-Z... so perhaps his lyrics are different - feel free to correct me.

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    Replies
    1. Well, I wouldn't be surprised if he still chose to use the word "ho" in his lyrics...

      Unfortunately, since it turns out that this was all fake, the point of it all is moot. All of which means that dads like me will still have to teach their daughters that they should not accept being called a bitch should never be acceptable under any circumstances.

      Delete
  2. It turned out to be fake? :( Sad!

    Though, coming from someone who occasionally wears her bitch flag proud, there is a movement afoot in taking it back. ;)

    ReplyDelete