To B*tch or Not To B*tch [Updated]

Warning: This post is about to get very, VERY real. If you are sensitive, easily offended, or need your mother’s permission to read this, I would seriously suggest that you click here. You have been warned.

bitch [bich] (noun) – 1. A female dog. 2. Slang: (a) a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially a woman. (b) a lewd woman. (c) Disparaging and offensive: any woman. (verb) – 3. Slang: To complain, gripe.

“99 problems
But a bitch ain't one
If you're having girl problems
I feel bad for you, son
I've got got 99 problems
But a bitch ain't one” (Jay-Z, “99 Problems”)

-----

I have a problem and I’m going to bitch about it. I’m going to bitch about the word “bitch”.

Why, you ask, would I do such a thing? Is it that I like to use the word? Does it flow so eloquently from my tongue, rolling off of it like a well-versed sonnet? Is it a regular part of my vocabulary, which includes such awesome words as “awesomesauce”, “technicality”, and “yes, I can legally get away with this”?

Actually, yes and no.

I do not like to use the noun form, even when I am referring to a female dog. To me, a dog, whether it is male or female, is a dog. A cat, who could be a contender for the word due to its attitude, is simply a cat to me (and what is the name of a female cat anyway?).

The verb form and I, however, are longtime friends. Usually, it comes in one of several forms, including the following:

• “What are you bitching about now?”
• “Bitch, bitch, nag, nag!”
• “Quit yer bitching!”

And for the record, no, it is never directed at my wife. I, for one, like sleeping on a bed without having to keep one eye open. It is usually directed at close friends and it is always in a playful manner.

“So,” you ask, “why are you bitching at the word bitch?”

Jay-Z, that’s why.

For those of you who lived under a rock for the last decade, Jay-Z is one of the most talented rappers in the entertainment industry. Not only that, but he is also a successful businessman who used the money he earned as a rapper to invest in businesses that will provide a legacy for him and his family for, say, forever and a day. He is part owner of the New Jersey Nets, created a clothing line called Rocawear, and is part-owner of a chain of sports bars called the 40/40 Club. He is also about to be celebrating his third year of marriage to his wife, Beyoncé Knowles, and just recently had the pleasure of becoming a father when they gave birth to their daughter, Blue Ivy Carter.

As you can tell, I am a fan. A huge one. My playlist proves this.

“So,” you ask, “what does Jay-Z have to do about you bitching at the word bitch?”

Simple, really. Recently, he declared that he would no longer use the word “bitch” in his music anymore now that he has a daughter. While it is commendable that he will no longer use a word that is degrading and insulting to women, I just feel that it’s a decision that is too little, too late.

Fact is, Jay-Z accumulated his wealth because of the prolific use of this word, as well as several others that many people find either obscene, misogynistic or both. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a firm believer in freedom of speech and, as a fan of his, I’m fully aware that many of the lyrics in his songs contain words that I won’t allow my children to listen to. But I also ascribe to the fact that I am an educated adult who can listed to the lyrics and not aspire to wake up the next morning and become a drug dealer or gangsta rapper who thinks that life is all about expensive cars, hanging in the club and “making it rain” in the strip club.

Many of his fans, who are younger than me, who lack the understanding that he is, first and foremost, a businessman whose business is selling records (in his case, millions). And the first rule of business is that if what your selling works, keep doing it. In the meantime, all of these fans see him as a role model and someone to aspire to be. Unfortunately, they don’t want to be businessmen and owners; instead, they aspire to be gangstas whose pants hang off their ass and call women bitches and hos. Why? ‘Cause Jay-Z does it. They want to hang out in the clubs and be in the VIP section. Why? ‘Cause Jay-Z likes to. They want to drink Cristal. Why? ‘Cause Jay-Z likes it.

So he made money hand-over-fist this way, but now that he has a daughter, it’s wrong. To me, it’s semi-hypocritical. And I say this because it’s not as if he is going to give an over-the-air apology for it or have a PSA that is played on urban radio explaining why it was wrong in the first place and to tell young men that it’s not okay to call women bitches and hos. And it’s not as if he was going to give back that money that he made on account of those lyrics.

To me, it’s the same as seeing a family whose fortune was made through slavery publicly decry that what they did was wrong in a press conference, yet offer no restitution for what they did.

“We became rich on slavery. But it was wrong. Our bad. Thank you.”

Unfortunately, I don’t see this changing anything among the young in our community. Jay-Z is not the only rapper they look up to. And as long as these rappers put their business interests ahead of the education of the community, it is simply going to be more of the same. As long as their music videos show women dancing in clothes that looks painted on, our young women will think of that as the personification of beauty. And as long as they continue to use the word bitch as a label for any woman, that will be the word that will fly out of the mouths of our youth.

Commendable? Yes. But does it suddenly make him a hero? No.

Sadly, it’s an awakening that is too little, too late.

Update: Uh-oh! Looks like even Blue Ivy isn't as safe as we thought anymore. In a New York Daily News article, when asked about his pledge in a poem to drop the word “bitch” from his vocabulary, he scoffed (their words, emphasis mine) and said:

“That poem and story are fake,” Jay-Z, whose real name is Shawn Carter, revealed.

Looks like he was right. He might have 99 problems, but “bitch” ain't one of them.

Playing With Fire, a.k.a. A Letter To Rev. Terry Jones

“Intolerance betrays want of faith in one’s cause.” (Mahatma Gandhi)

-----

Dear Rev. Terry Jones,

By now, you have let every news outlet in the country know that your plan for International Burn a Koran Day on September 11th will continue. You have made it clear that you will do this despite being denied a permit to do so, despite the departure of several members of your church who disagreed with this course of action, and that you would do this even if former President George W. Bush, who you claimed to respect, asked you not to.

Now, don’t me wrong. I am a strong believer in the Constitution. You feel that your first amendment rights give you the right to do this, and I could not disagree with that. You are also using the freedom of religion card, and again, I could not disagree with that. And since I don’t trust George Bush, I definitely cannot begrudge you for that.

However, I do believe that, in the realm of common sense, what you are doing is morally irresponsible and downright stupid.

For a man who claims to be following the will of God, your actions show otherwise. I know that there are several passages in the Bible show how God struck out at the enemies of His people, so I’m sure that you could use this as justification for what you're about to do. But in many of these passages, it was shown that these acts were done by Him, not for him. Don't believe me? Check out Romans 12:19:

“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”

I’m not exactly a Bible scholar, but I think it says to let Him handle these things.

I know people who agree with you, Pastor Jones. A friend of mine said that since they love to burn our flags and burn effigies, they should get to see what it’s like. Another said that this will show them that we are not afraid.

The problem with this is that hate can never conquer hate. It only feeds it. Darkness cannot dispel darkness. Only light can do that. And if you notice, even the smallest light can dispel the deepest darkness. If we as a nation, as a people, are to show that we are stronger and better, we can only do that by being stronger than our emotions and better than our impulses. We should the example, not play Follow the Leader. What you are doing is the equivalent of a pissing contest.

Here’s another dose of common sense: every action has an equal reaction. You want to send a message. By burning a Koran, what do you think the reaction will be? How mad would you be if someone burned the Bible? Think about it!

You’re safe in Gainesville, but what about American soldiers and civilians who are not within America’s borders? What do you think will happen to those people who are deployed in Muslim countries when this act occurs? Think they get to escape the repercussions of your actions?

This is not about personal freedoms. What it is about is responsibility. The only way to show that we deserve something is to show that we are capable of handling it responsibly and accept the consequences when we are irresponsible. Face it, Pastor Jones, if anything happens to those people due to this, it's on your head, whether you like it or not. And we all know that God does not like ugly.

I know that nothing will stop you from doing this. Ignorance never needs a reason to be what it is, after all. So, rather than hate you, I’m going to pray for you. To paraphrase Jesus, I'm going to ask God to forgive you, not because you don't know what you're doing, but because someone said that He is the God of children and fools, and obviously you are not a child.

Enjoy your book burning, Pastor Jones. Enjoy your fifteen minutes. When it’s all said and done, you’ll have a few people on your side, a lot of people who will be disappointed, and a hell of a lot of Muslims with axes to grind into your skull. But when you find time to get off your high horse, just remember two things, okay?

First, those that play with fire often get burned.

Second, the last time a “famous” book burning occurred was in 1933. The place: Berlin, Germany. The reason: Nazi efforts to control the population disguised as national pride.

So, when history looks back at this, you’ll be in great company. Just thought you should know.

What Do You Mean I Can't Say That?!?

Political correctness - suppressing the expression of certain attitudes and the use of certain terms in the belief that they are too offensive or controversial.

"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it." (Voltaire)

-----

Ladies and gentlemen, we as a people are too damn sensitive. And naturally, some people will no doubt be offended by this statement.

Let the hate mail commence.

Seriously, folks. I think we have taken Political Correctness (a.k.a. P.C.) to a whole new level. It seems that nowadays, everyone needs to watch what they say to everyone they meet just in case we may offend someone.

Think about it. In December, most stores have policies requiring their employees to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas as a way to avoid offending customers. When I went Christmas shopping, the cashier said, "Happy Holidays and thanks for coming."

I said, "Merry Christmas and have a nice day."

She smiled and said, "Merry Christmas to you, too."

I often wonder what our society would be like if people said what they meant and meant what they said. There would be a lot of upset people, that's for sure. But think about it. Imagine being in a world where no one has to second-guess the meaning or intention of what is said to them. Where everyone knows exactly what the other person just said because he or she said it quite plainly.

In other words, a non-P.C. world.

Imagine the warning label on a cigarette box:

Old: "SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy."

New: "SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking Can Kill You."

Fewer words. Simpler explanation. Straight and to-the-point. Yet, if I say this to a smoker, they would get offended.

Normally, I'd go into a small explanation to say that I'm not against cigarette smokers. I'm not. But I've recently had to bury my aunt, who was a smoker and died of *gasp* lung cancer. So I won't.

I have a good friend of mine who lives this way. If he sees someone eating a Double Whopper, for example, he will say (quite loudly), "A heart attack waiting to happen." Needless to say, he offends a lot of people.

Two articles of note that I saw recently that prove my point.

First, a woman named LuAnn Haley got into hot water because she said that President Obama "is a hottie, with a smokin' little body." And people got offended by this. Why?!? If she thinks he's a hottie, what's the problem? The President wasn't even offended by the remark. He laughed about it.

As for Ms. Haley? She gets nasty comments and text messages.

Honestly, I feel sorry for her. She didn't really deserve that. She obviously admires the president. It would have been a whole different thing if she solicited him for sex or wanted to be his mistress.

Sigh.

Then there's the Kristen Stewart interview for Elle Magazine's July issue where she was talking about being constantly hounded by the paparazzi. She said:

“The photos are so … I feel like I’m looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can’t handle it. I never expected that this would be my life.”

This, of course, caused a firestorm of controversy from rape victims, counseling groups and her own fans who cried foul, saying that she should not compare her violation of privacy to rape. She even issued an apology for it, saying that she made a mistake in her choice of words.

I have close friends who are rape victims. Me, I feel that any man who rapes a woman deserves to have himself castrated with a meat cleaver and no anesthesia. When I spoke with my friends about this, none of them felt offended by what she said. They all understood that she was not portraying herself as someone who had been raped, but as someone whose privacy has been violated. I thought the same thing.

Many people see it as the price of celebrity. When you choose to be famous, you give up the right to privacy. One of my friends said that it's the same thing as when her rapist said he did it because of the tight outfit and short skirt she wore made her too sexy to resist.

Let me say that I am not a Kristen Stewart fan. (Crap, I'm sure I offended someone now.) But to take her words out of context and be offended by it also means that her feelings on the matter should be disregarded and that she should not feel like a victim.

Never mind that one of the definitions of rape is "violation."

I know that a world without P.C. can't happen. I also have a theory as to why it can't happen. My theory is that a world of blunt honesty can only happen when we as a society can trust the intention of the person who is telling us the truth. We have to trust that the person means us no harm and that it is being done with the best of intentions. And let's be honest -- none of us trust anyone else that much. Maybe you might have that with a sibling, a parent, a spouse, or a child, but no one would trust a stranger with that much power.

And as long as that lack of trust exists, we will always have to approach every conversation with the same amount of caution as one does when walking through an area filled with land mines. It's because of who we are as human beings that the P.C. Beast will continue to be fed.

As for me, I think I'm going to start putting the P.C. Beast on a diet. He's a little too fat for my taste.

Crap. I used the word "fat." I'm sure that someone is upset by this.

Sigh.

To paraphrase Ice-T, we all have the freedom of speech. Just watch what you say.