It's A Gay Marriage Thing

Gay marriage - also referred to as same-sex marriage; a legally or socially recognized marriage between two persons of the same biological sex or social gender.

“Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the "will of the people" goes out the window.” (Bill Maher)

-----

[Cue birds singing, violin playing romantic music]

My first crush was in 1st grade. Her name was Maria Teresa Hernandez. She was a year older than me because I managed to skip kindergarten and was promoted to 1st grade (thus I never got to take naps in school, though I did make up for this later). She was, to me, the prettiest thing on the planet that was La Luz School. It turned out that she liked me, too. We sat next to each other and did what most kids who liked each other in the 1st grade did - stick our tongues out at each other, call the other a doody-head, and hit each other at every conceivable moment that the teacher wasn't looking. Before the school year ended, we had our first kiss. I was on cloud ten (too many people on cloud nine, so I took the upgrade). When summer started, we swore to call each other every day.

[Cue record scratching sound effect]

Yeah, right.

Calls were never made. That was because she moved away. I never saw her again. My heart was crushed. I thought I would never love that way again. Two days later, Keisha Johnson and her family moved into the neighborhood...

Damn, I was a heartless bastard, wasn't I?

For as long as I've lived, I have been what is classified as a heterosexual. I didn't ask to be this way. To my knowledge, I didn't even know I had a choice in the matter. All I know is that from the beginning, I liked girls. When I got older, I really liked girls. Now that I'm an adult, I love women. I don't think I was asked if I was a heterosexual. I just was. I didn't think to question it. I didn't even know it was a question.

I would be lying if I said I didn't use the word “faggot” as a kid. Kids do that. As a young man, we use words like that to put down other guys, especially under two circumstances:

• when you wanted to prove you were a bigger man than your friend in a playful manner, or
  
• when you wanted to prove you were a bigger man that your enemy
  

As a kid, rarely did I know someone who was actually gay. I might have suspected it, but they were never the “I'm here, I'm queer” type. It was always the one who acted a little too feminine, but in those days we would just call them a “mama's boy.” As an adult, they are out and about, walking with pride and carrying their rainbow flags.

Homosexuals. Gays. Lesbians. Once in the shadows, now they're out in the spotlight. Bravo for them, I say. Be proud of who you are.

The jury's still out on a lot of things. Is homosexuality something learned or is it something you're born with? Is it genetic or environmental? People can argue these points until the cows come home, but in the end, does it really matter? Is the gender of the person that someone loves really relevant in the scheme of things?

Personally, I don't care. It's not my job to judge. As long as you give me respect, I'll give you respect. Treat me with kindness and I'll do the same. Respect my boundaries and I'll respect yours.

It's amazing how hypocritical people can be. The religious right (an oxymoron if I ever heard one) swears that homosexuality is a threat to the sanctity of marriage. Yet, 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Marriages that are between a man and a woman, mind you. In fact, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, people in the Bible Belt find the most reasons for divorce at roughly 50% above the national average.

Translation: Self-righteousness does not make a happy marriage.

We don't deny them the right to a job, purchase property, take vacations, invest, or go to McDonald's. But once they wanted to start getting married, that was when the human excrement hit the rotating propeller device. After all, why would they not want to be with the one they love in a manner unlike what a man and a woman would want? Shouldn't they be able to pass on property to their loved one, like a married man and woman could do? Not according to the religious right. And accordingly, because people vote in the people who are making the laws, no one who wants a long-term political career in Washington, D.C. will even consider touching that subject on a federal level.

States rights, however, are a different story. Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Washington, D.C. (oh, the irony) are the only five states that perform same-sex marriages. California used to, but the item came to a vote that passed, ending it. However, this was ruled unconstitutional (yay, Constitution!), but is currently on appeal.

Do I agree with same-sex unions, whether they be marital or not? My religious upbringing does not, because people of the same sex cannot produce life, which is one of the tenets of God. My spiritual self says it doesn't matter because everyone has the right to find someone they love and who loves them. My realistic self says who cares because the bills need to get paid, the kids need clothes and the wife wants to have some quality time. Only the man upstairs has the answer to it all, so I'll leave it up to him.

So, here's my common sense advice about gay marriages to every one of you out there:

• If you're complaining about gay marriage and you're married, you're obviously neglecting your spouse and kids. I'm married and find myself too busy about the wife and kids to be worried about gay marriage. I can barely get in a decent game of Modern Warfare.
  
• If you're complaining about gay marriage and you're single, You have too much time on your hands. Get away from the Facebook, put the iPhone down, and go to a bar and meet someone. I hear speed dating does wonders.
  
• If you're complaining about gay marriage and you're not married but you are in a relationship, then you're probably gay. Or don't want to get married. Or both.
  
• If you're complaining about gay marriage and walk around carrying a Bible, just go to the kitchen and have a nice cup of STFU. First of all, Jesus said let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Secondly, when you're quiet, you'll hear silence. Know what that silence is? It's the sound of no one caring about what you think.
  
• If you're not complaining about gay marriage, then congratulations. You have a life. Go live it.
  

Live and let live, people.